if i had a hammer on my hand i'd hit mylsef so bad, then i'd expect people to give me sympathy and attention. because i feel so alone and i need so much attention. it does not really matter how other people see me but the way i view myself is of a big essence. it does not really matter if people see me it does not really matter much if they dont see me Trust me even if i were as well off as i can ever imagine but that view i have of myself will drop my ego the lowest worst point again. it is also going to make people see me the very way i see myself. i will have to change my view of myself. and remember that change that is everlasting starts from within. if i can change the way i see myself then all other things will follow. all other views from all other people will suit. when i do a single simple mistake i hammer myself so bad that i feel i am worthless. i am stepping on eggshells and throwing my glasshouse with stones. make peace with myself. make peace with you. i do not understand why i do this to myself. do you understand why you do this? you are so conscious of your mistakes. all the problems we face, we go through are mental and within that is why they manifest. it is in us to work on them. let us work on that.