Would you make love to someone just for the benefit of it? No. You make love to someone with some emotions attached because it is a sentimental thing. You touch and feel that person; you are together on it and communicate all the way. You reach out to them if they seem distant, but if they aren’t reachable then it means it is having sexual intercourse that the two of you are doing. When you are not together, you barely talk, and when you are together you talk about just other things, basic things in life, and when you reach your house they are reading the paper, when you reach their house they are either drinking some wine while watching you cook them a meal, or they are going through their paper again, or doing some work, or watching the news, and there is little talk, basically it is you who is bringing up matters to kill the silence. Then its lights off in the kitchen and to the bedroom, then its batch time and obviously on separate cases, mostly you are the last to finish and you find them already cocked up and ready for a rhythm. You blend in, touch, kiss and moan with ecstasy, you don’t know what the sounds they make mean, but you can feel them come and both of you done, they cuddle closer to your warm and smooth body and slip into dreamland, it only happened once recently that they kissed you goodnight. You hardly know each other, you don’t talk about each other, what is it you are doing and what is it you want. But the little time you spend with them you find out just on your own, a few things about them. And you wonder what is it you and this person that you are doing, and according to you, it is not a relationship you want and you’d bank on, but still you find that you enjoy being around them and yet you ignore the thought of the kind of relationship you having. Regardless of you investing your emotions. There are days they want to be with you and days they prefer not to, and on your part you really want to see them and always, because to you, to open yourself out to someone, and to go that deep, your emotions are not for granted and to you they are honoured and for someone to have that chance, they must really deserve that. And to find out you are wasting yourself like this it’s an emotional torture. Because you feel you are so special and need a special person to share that special moment with you. Because no one is doing none a favour. This is a reason I say, I don’t have a lover, because I expect a lot from my lover and me. Not sexual intercourse. What is it anyway? Is it a gender communion?